Part 1 of a Series of Verse Study and Reflection.
How can a woman support her husband, care for her children, and manage her home while facing health challenges?
Can a woman with chronic pain still be a biblical woman? I’ve wrestled with this question. Through this series, I’ll share my study and reflections on biblical womanhood while living with chronic pain.
In this post, I will analyze the Proverbs 31 poem, which defines biblical womanhood.. These verses do not serve as a checklist for women to complete daily like a task rabbit; instead, they describe something bigger and deeper for us.
Buckle Up. We’re Taking the Long Way!
The Proverbs 31 woman is a standard we should strive for. However, literal interpretations can lead to shame if we cannot live up to them. These verses highlight characteristics of godly women, not physical limitations
In these 22 verses, we read the description of a woman who is constantly busy and seemingly unrealistically productive. These verses paint a picture of a woman who can make everyone’s clothing, procure food, make meals, serve the needy, sleep very little, make money, and put it back into projects that would benefit the household, remain healthy, all the while remaining calmly present for her children while serving her husband so effectively that they’re praising her on the daily.
Does this run-on sentence describe your version of biblical womanhood?
Proverbs 31: What Does It Mean?
It doesn’t portray mine. Certainly, I would be lucky if I got all of this done, and done well, in a month!
Do these verses truly lay out a list of duties and seemingly impossible standards to live up to every day? If we aren’t careful, we burn ourselves out trying to live like the modern-day Proverbs 31 woman. Unfortunately, many women use these verses as a goalpost without considering cultural differences, writing style, and deeper theology.
It is important to remember that the Book of Proverbs is a book based on metaphors and poems to encourage us in God’s truth and wisdom. Furthermore, Proverbs uniquely employs chiastic poem structures in many of its chapters, including chapter 31, verses 10-31. This means that, in essence, a poem presents ideas in the first half and then presents them again in reverse order, thereby creating a ring (cyclical) or mirror effect that connects the ideas throughout the poem. Additionally, the poem highlights qualities that define a godly woman as well as universal wisdom traits. These traits include:
- A Virtuous Woman, wise and discerning, is a treasure to her husband and family.
- A Diligent Worker, committed to her responsibilities and the well-being of her household.
- A Gracious Giver, serving others with a willing heart.
- A Wise Steward, managing resources wisely to provide for her family.
- A Nurturing Soul, caring for herself and others with balance and self-compassion.
Proverbs 31 is Not a To-Do List
Notice how these ideas are not a laundry list of tasks for women to get done every day. Our womanhood isn’t defined by our ability to sew, crochet, or knit. Nor, is it defined by being a working mom or a stay-at-home one. It isn’t defined by our skill of procuring fresh, organic food and making a gourmet meal. It isn’t about ANY of the shallow, superficial things that even non-believers can achieve.
This poem displays a heart posture that God desires from us as women. He even gives us the most important idea of them all in verse 30:
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
God desires us to be women who reverence Him. Women who truly and deeply depend on Him so that we can be so spiritually full, we can care for others the way that He cares for us. How powerful is it that God wants women to be His hands and feet to show the world what His love truly feels like?
A Woman’s Purpose
Now that we understand what the Proverbial Woman poem is saying, we can all breathe more freely, can’t we? I love how Proverbs 31 Ministries describes the cultural importance of this chapter, adding more relief. Lysa TerKeurst writes in the article, But I’m Nothing Like the Proverbs 31 Woman …:
“In Jewish culture, these verses are read out loud on the Sabbath as a celebration over the women. This is in no way condemning what they aren’t but celebrating how they are, in their own unique expressions, living out the virtues detailed in this chapter. These aren’t words meant to tell a woman she is supposed to be more. They are a celebration of who she is.“
Not only are women representations of God’s love, but we can also celebrate each other within that! Each of us experiences different life situations. We’ve been given different skills, talents, gifts, and abilities. The way we spread God’s love out into the world is going to look different, but just like the poem, we’ll all reflect the foundational trait of fearing God back to each other.
Circling Back to the Start
We now have established what the Proverbial Woman essentially “looks like.” Circling back to my questions from the beginning, I can now begin to answer them from a solid, more educated standpoint. In my next post, I will answer the question of “How a woman be a helpmeet to her husband, a present mother to her children, and a manager of her home when her flesh has set out against her in a battle of destruction? ” Next time, I will lay out how I practice living out the virtues of the proverbial woman, but with chronic pain and limitations.
In conclusion, I think we can answer my second question “If a woman cannot physically fulfill the criteria of the scripture of God’s word that defines a biblical woman, can she still call herself one?” It’s clear that if a woman is in Christ and fears God above all else, despite her physical abilities, the answer is a confident “YES!”
What are your thoughts? Does this understanding of biblical womanhood feel more realistic to you? Comment below! I’d love to hear from you!
