I am just starting on this adventure of blogging. On one hand, I am figuring out what kind of content will resonate with my target audience. On the other hand, I started blogging because I wanted to speak about what was on my mind. It is possible that what I am about to say maybe “shooting myself in the foot,” but this has been pressing on my heart long enough.
Why are so many chronic illness and pain influencers so negative? Why is SO much of their content focused on telling others how to talk to them? Why is most of their content based on the impact that outside influences have had on them? Must chronic pain and illness make us so negative?
Truly, I cannot consume the content of other chronic pain and illness influencers. I may “like” a thing here or there, but so much of it saddens me. I can feel the anger, resentment, hopelessness, hostility, and narcissism that drenches their posts. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have fleeting moments where I don’t feel the same way or I completely disagree, I just completely reject the way they have chosen to present their content.
For the sake of simplicity, from here on out, when I say “Normal” I am talking about anyone who doesn’t have chronic pain or illness. Those who do will be referred to as “Chronics.”
An example of the unhelpful posts I see in the Chronics community is focused on policing how others speak or relate to us. Mostly in the sense of “Don’t tell Chronics to “get well, it could be worse, you don’t look sick, etc” ” When I see these things, I do not perceive these posts as people trying to educate normal people on how to interact with Chronics. I don’t even see advocacy in these. What I see is a frustrated Chronics person who is angry with their situation and trying to berate Normal people into behaving a certain way towards them because they are jealous they aren’t Normal.
I pray this isn’t news to anyone, but nobody, not even God, owes you anything. Not inclusion, validation, comfort, political correctness, or affirmation.
Narcissism is characterized by certain behaviors like entitlement, hypersensitivity, a grandiose sense of self-importance, arrogance, and a lack of empathy. I lived with a narcissistic abuser for 5 years so I’m pretty familiar with the behaviors. Pride is characterized as being self-centered, being defensive, wanting attention, having negative feelings, and dismissing others. Narcissism and pride go hand in hand.
For the Lord of hosts will have a day of reckoning against everyone who is proud and lofty, and against everyone who is lifted up, that he may be abased.
Isaiah 2:12
As Believers, we are called to be set apart from this world. I pray that you are not using the chronic conditions you are afflicted with to behave in prideful ways. I pray that you will audit your heart and repent of any pride you are holding onto with your condition or otherwise.
What these types of posts are doing is using identity politics to bully others. This content is proud and self-centered. These posts are gaslighting the Normal community (if they are even seeing any of it and care) into thinking they are prejudiced or unreasonable for treating/not treating Chronics in a specific way. First and foremost, Chronics are people and Normal people are just trying to treat us as such. When they say certain platitudes, or make certain comments, unless it is obvious they are trying to hurt someone, they are literally just treating us how they would treat anyone else.
and All of you, clothe yourselves in humiliy toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
1 Peter 5:5b
We are called to turn away from pride and to humble ourselves.
Although I sometimes wish that more people were understanding of what I experience daily, I could never get upset at a Normal telling me to “feel better.” Seriously. When I am told that, I am hearing someone wish something positive on me. In reality, there will absolutely be moments where I do feel better! It is akin to when someone freaks out over being told “Merry Christmas,” or “Happy Holidays.” Even if you celebrate a different holiday, just accept it as someone speaking kindness to you. What does it do for me to get upset at a silly comment like that? It pulls me away from God’s calling for me, that is what. The next time a Normal tells you to “feel better soon,” just say “Thank you!”
Before I wrap this up, I’d like to state that if a Normal (or even me!) tells you that it could be worse, the truth is, Yes! It could be so much worse! You could have never been born and experienced life at all. You could have even more severe chronic conditions. You could be dead in your sin and on your way to hell. Yes, it could be worse. Chronic pain and illness can positively impact the world if we give it to God and trust Him to lead us in utilizing it. We have such powerful testimonies of God’s grace and mercy in our lives.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong; God chose the lowly things of the world, and the despised things, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before God.".
1 Corinthians 1:27-29
Chronic Believers, we experience an abundance of weakness, lowliness, and the despised things of this world. We can be used mightily! But not if we fall into the trap of narcissism and pride of our flesh.
As Christians, it is important to remember that our flesh is going to be something the Spirit battles with every single day. We can either dwell in our flesh and let it win, or we can fight by the Spirit’s side and live a life led by God. We make this choice every day. What choice have you made today?
Do you disagree with me? Agree? I’d love to hear from you! Either comment below or email me at [email protected].
